Have a Cup of Coffee to Start the Year
January 3rd, 2012
The euphoria of celebrating the New Year has began to wane and we are now trying to sort out the things left off at the onset of the holiday season.
And what a sorting out it is. Bills to pay, projects half-done, cleaning up the mess left by the celebrations, and all the other things people usually attend to at the beginning of the year. Not least among these is how to get rid of the extra weight from the excesses celebrations are always guilty of.
To calm our edgy nerves, we get hold of a cup of strong black coffee. Some call this a death wish while others a means for survival.
Through generations, people have always had a love-hate relationship with this brew that originated from the tropics. When I was in the insurance business, one of the favorite scare stories among life insurance underwriters is this:
“If you are middle-aged, a workaholic, smokes and drinks coffee, you are a candidate for coronary heart problems”
But is coffee really that bad?
There really is no clear answer to that except to say that “one man’s poison is another man’s meat.”
I guess we all have had a huge dose of the bad boy image coffee so I’d like to leave it at that. No sense in rubbing salt on an open wound.
But coffee does have a good boy image, too. And that’s what I’d like to dwell on.
The good side of a cup of coffee:
Coffee contains caffeine, a drug that affects the central nervous system. In moderate amounts, it can increase alertness and reduce fine motor coordination. Now you know why the urge to grab a cup of coffee is strongest when we are at the edgiest.
Aside from that, researchers have recently observed that a cup of coffee can:
1. Ward off depression:
A study conducted by the Harvard School of public health showed that women who regularly drink fully caffeinated coffee had 20% lower risk of depression than those who don’t.
2. It may promote healthy weight:
The caffeine in a cup of coffee decreases the rate at which the stomach dumps its contents into that part of the intestines where digestion takes place making our body to slowly process the meal we eat.
No, downing a cup after a meal is not going to work. Rather sip it slowly to help the stomach do its job effectively.
3. It may boost male fertility:
Studies done at the HRC Fertility in California shows that caffeine has a positive effect on sperm motility – the ability of sperm to move towards an egg, thus increasing the chances of getting a woman pregnant.
And it doesn’t matter whether you drink a cup or 10 cups. The effect is the same.
Don’t mistake fertility and libido, though. Coffee may make you alert, not necessarily horny.
4. It may reduce your risk of getting skin cancer:
Studies done at the Brigham and Women’s Hospital showed that women who drank more than three cups of coffee a day had a 20% lower risk for squamous cell carcinoma and melanoma and a 9% risk reduction in men.
Nothing is said about the deadlier forms of skin cancer so it is still prudent to use a good sun blocker if you stay outdoors long periods of time.
5. It is not really addictive:
A coffee drinker does not a coffee addict make.
Studies done at the University of California at Davis show that caffeine is not addictive and the World Health Organization states that “it is wrong to compare caffeine intake and drug addiction, since people can reduce or eliminate caffeine from their diet without any serious psychological or physical problems from a true drug addiction”
Serious coffee drinkers, however, may experience fatigue and irritability if they don’t get their regular dose.
People who consume six small cups of coffee a day belong to this category.
You still feel edgy and couldn’t get started a few days into the new year? Grab a cup of coffee. It will do you much good.
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How to Make a New Year’s Resolution Stick
December 29th, 2011
Almost a month ago, I resolved to keep this blog as fresh as a new-born babe. Then I was offered to ghostwrite a business school blog and, pfffftt, my resolution vanished as fast as I could make it.
A few days from now, we will greet a new year. As always, people, like me, will be driven to a frenzy making resolutions, vowing to turn a leaf as new as the coming year.
A few will give their darndest to live out their resolutions while most will forget it before Valentine’s Day.
Old habits die hard and a few lines of desires are not enough to kill it. It needs a steam roller.
But if you must turn a new leaf and really want to make it stick, this formula is going to help you do just that.
1. Have a realistic goal:
By realistic, I mean something that you can do, with a little bit of pain, perhaps. It must be specific and doable.
“To lose weight” is not specific, even if it is doable.
“To lose 10 pounds within two months from now,” is specific and doable if you suffer a little bit in your calorie intake and exercise a lot.
And pick only one. Don’t cheat yourself by having a fallback position.
2. Do it now:
Procrastination is the nemesis of a good many intentions. If you want to do it, start now.
Settle yourself in a quiet place, and think of the things you want to change in your life the coming year.
Pick one, write it down and start planning on how to accomplish it. Put in milestones so you can track your progress.
3. Start small:
Don’t choke yourself to death by biting more than you can chew. Consider having a resolution as a marathon, not a hundred-meter dash.
Go easy. Do the small things first, going to the bigger and more difficult tasks in your plan.
4. Don’t make a re-run of past resolutions:
People have the habit of re-running past resolutions. If you did not do that well enough last year, there’s no reason you can do better this year.
If you must do a similar thing, give it a little twist. Rectify those things you had difficulty or missed doing
5. Change does not happen overnight:
A habit is an act done over and over again. It may start as something uncomfortable. But if done repeatedly, you will soon learn to embrace it. It will become a part of you.
This process applies to both good and bad habits. It takes time to set in and take roots. If you want it badly enough, it will come. Just give it time.
6. Get up when you fall down:
Nothing can be worse than staying down when you fall. And you will fall down, repeatedly. Remember, you can never lose if you don’t quit.
So keep your momentum up. The best boxers are those who throw the most punches. Pretty soon, one of them, a haymaker, will find its mark resulting to a knock-out.
7. Get support from family and friends:
Think of pursuing a resolution as a journey. You can either go the entire distance alone or have your family and friends to cheer you all the way.
Which of the two scenarios will get you there more successfully?
Of course, there are times they may discourage you, deride you, cause you to fall.
Talk to them and let them know that you need their support, not their ridicule.
Good luck! You need tons of it.
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Things You Should Know about IBS (Part 2)
December 10th, 2011
When I was young I had bouts of stomach ache and bloating that usually occurred early in the morning or late nights. The doctor in the family, my grandmother, prescribed hot-water compress on my stomach. If that didn’t work, she had me take a very bitter laxative.
Over the years I learned how to keep away from things which, I suspect, caused them. Unless I am to deliver a speech, which was always preceded by severe stomach cramps or have an occasional diarrhea from bad food, I knew not what IBS is.
Of course, probably due to ignorance or the word didn’t exist then, I simply didn’t know that what I had were IBS episodes.
Anyway, this post is not to give a historical account of my stomach problems but to underscore the fact that IBS can be treated the doctor’s way or grandma’s way.
Here are few of them.
Medical remedies:
There’s good news and bad news re treatment of IBS, medically. The bad news is that there is no treatment for IBS, per se. The good news is its symptoms can be treated.
There are medications for constipation and diarrhea. To control colon muscle spasms and reduce abdominal pain, antispasmodics are sometimes recommended as well as antidepressants to relieve some symptoms.
However, both drugs, antispasmodics and antidepressants, can worsen constipation making it necessary to use other drugs to relax bladder and intestinal muscles.
Consult your physician who knows best.
Natural remedies:
If you are averse in the use of drugs, you can opt for natural medications to treat your irritable bowel syndrome.
My grandma’s natural cure for my stomach problems will not be very handy in the busy world of today. It’s not easy to be pressing hot-water bottles against your tummy while going about your day’s activities.
There are several books devoted to the natural treatment of IBS. One such book, The Secrets to Curing Irritable Bowel Syndrome by Kelly Parks-Hoffman, tops the best-seller list in Clickbank.
It is a product of long years of study in the use of natural remedies, not only for IBS, but of the holistic approach to wellness.
In a world hungry for green technology, this is a good reference material for the natural treatment of your IBS.
Self-help remedies:
In a general sense, you can do your share by watching your diet and your stressors.
Stressors are events, things, situations and circumstances that stress you out.
Stress stimulates the colon spasms in people with IBS. Like the heart and the lungs, the colon is partly controlled by the autonomic nervous system, which responds to stress.
This explains my severe stomach cramps before delivering a speech.
Some evidence suggests that IBS is also affected by the immune system which, in turn, is affected by stress. I am sure that you know that stress can engender a lot of other medical ailments; and it is one of the major killers, world-wide.
If your IBS is wearing you down, check if your stress level is wearing you out.
If you are not as tight as a guitar string, check your diet.
A lot of food that we eat greatly contributes to whatever stomach problems we have.
This year I checked into a hospital in two separate occasions. he first was for severe constipation and, in the second, for diarrhea that almost dried me out. . Both situations were food-related.
Consult your nutritionist to see what food types suit you best.
No treasure is more precious than our overall wellness. IBS, though not life-threatening as it is, can severely affect your day, your life, your happiness and fitness.
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Things You Should Know about IBS
December 5th, 2011
What do you do when you wake up each morning?
I say a little prayer of thanks for having had a good night’s sleep and the chance to see another sunrise. Then I go to the toilet for my early morning ritual.
There are days, however, when the prayers would be more appropriate after using the toilet. When (and there are so many people with the same problem), it would require the effort of a weightlifter to dispose of the previous day’s waste.
When after all the huffing and puffing, with sweat running down my forehead, only a trickle, if ever, comes out of my bowel though I still feel full in my stomach.
Conversely, there are days when my stomach feels like being twisted like a knot, and my bowel is discharging like a never-ending stream.
If you have a recurring experience like this, chances are that you have the IBS or irritable bowel syndrome.
What is IBS?
IBS is a disorder commonly manifested by stomach cramps, abdominal pain, bloating, constipation or diarrhea.
Though it does not result to permanent and serious harm to the intestines, it can give severe discomfort and distress. It is never nice to make a mad rush to a toilet when you are outdoors or engaged in an important task.
IBS is fairly common. According to estimates by the National Digestive Diseases Information Clearinghouse, roughly one in five Americans suffer from IBS, making it the most common disorder in a physician’s clinic.
IBS affects women more than men and 50% of the people affected by it are around the age of 35 onwards.
What causes IBS?
Despite its being such a common disorder, researchers are still facing a blank wall re its specific cause.
For now, have possibilities such as:
- Sensitivity and reaction to some foods and stress;
- Irregular movement of the colon;
- Bacterial infection;
- Abnormal functioning of the immune system.
How would you know if you have IBS?
When something is wrong with my car’s internals, I have it checked by a qualified and certified mechanic. You can do less with your body’s internals.
If you feel something is wrong inside, check in with your doctor. The following is a rough guide when to do so:
- Abdominal pains, bloating and discomfort that won’t go away with your ordinary laxatives;
- Frequent occurrence of constipation;
- Frequent diarrhea;
- Alternating and long-running diarrhea and constipation;
Constipation is often induced by the type of food we eat and insufficient liquid intake.
Diarrhea, on the other hand, can be induced by bacteria in the food we eat, stress and allergy.
If one or both persists for long periods of time, or goes away and comes back, a medical check up is needed.
IBS is a disorder affecting the normal functioning of the colon. Though it is common and has never shown to result to more serious illnesses of the digestive system, you must have it checked by your physician.
Anything that affects the colon should not be taken lightly.
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Breast Cancer Facts Women Must Know
November 30th, 2011
A married woman who lives across the street was diagnosed with breast cancer early on. It was removed and she is currently as healthy as a babe.
On the other hand, a former associate succumbed to the disease after a very long, painful and costly struggle.
I am sure we all have our separate stories to tell about it, either close to home or among friends and acquaintances. In every case, we lump it into one generic disease – breast cancer.
But since it is so common, common enough perhaps to become personal, it is worthwhile to know more about this disease that regularly claims the lives of more than 40,000 women each year in the U.S. alone.
Breast cancer types:
There are basically seven types of breast cancer. Some of these are:
1. Ductal Carcinoma In-Situ (DCIS):
This is the early type of breast cancer. It is confined in the inside of the ductal system of the mammary gland.
2. I nfiltrating Ductal Carcinoma (IDC):
This is the most common type of breast cancer, accounting for roughly 80% of the total cases. They appear as star-like or rounded lesions in mammograms. The star-like lesions, generally, have very poor prognosis.
3. Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC):
This is called inflammatory because they make the breast look swollen and red. Though very rare, about 1 to 5% of the total cases, it is very aggressive.
How serious is it?
- Among women, regardless of race and ethnicity, breast cancer is second to skin cancer in prevalence;
- Among women between 20 – 59 yrs old, it is the second cause of death; overall, it is the seventh;
- In the U.S., a new breast cancer case occurs every three minutes and a woman dies from the disease every 13 mins;
- The American Cancer Society estimated 192,370 new cases of breast cancer in 2009.
Hedging against breast cancer:
Generally, breast cancer is curable with the current advances in technology and treatment.
My neighbor is an example. Aside from being a regular church – goer and a natural sunny disposition, her complete cure could have been due to any, or all, of the following:
- It was detected early;
- She had one of the less aggressive types of breast cancer like “infiltrating lobular carcinoma” which respond well to therapy;
- Her genes were on her favor;
- She responded well to medication and reinforced by her lifestyle.
The key to breast cancer survival is early detection. Nobody knows your body more than you do. Listen to it. If there’s anything out of sync, don’t guess. See a physician.
Your risk goes a little higher if you have a family history of the disease. Otherwise, hedge yourself against it by keeping a healthy body mass index (BMI), exercise regularly, minimize your alcohol intake and have a healthy diet.
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Infidelity and the Sexes
November 20th, 2011
“Demi Moor Divorces Ashton Kutcher,” is a news headline difficult to miss these days.”
Not that it is earth-shattering. Millions of divorces are occurring everyday. Neither is the reason for their split. Mr Kutcher’s alleged infidelity is not totally incredulous. What is incredulous is his being caught, not once, but twice
Of course, had they not been celebrities, their divorce would not have caused a ripple. Ordinary mortals like us face it in the eye everyday that it would just have been a gossip, not a news item, had it concerned any of us.
But why do we cheat?
Infidelity is an age-old reality. Throughout our existence, we have always been living under its ghastly shadow. And it will not go away as long as we live.
So it is interesting to know why we do what we do. These are based on my life’s experience. Be a good sport and check out what makes sense to you:
Men:
I was far from a being saintly my entire married life. In fact, I was inclined to write a book of excuses. And two of my current coffee buddies maintain two households
From them and many others, I got these reasons why men cheat:
- To get away from domestic problems:
These can be several. A nagging wife is one and financial problems, another. Whatever it is, it boils down to incompatibility.
- Sexual promiscuity:
Men, by nature, are sex-driven. And he is disposed to have a swing with another woman if the opportunity presents itself. In fact, more often than not, he looks for that opportunity.
- Ego:
This is a great driving force among men. All his accomplishments are driven by ego disguised as needs. His ego drives him to conquer, to collect, to play around, to satisfy no one but himself.
Women:
One of my social networking sites is full of women who are either single moms, widowed, divorced or just plain called it quits with their partners.
Characteristically they still hope to find their soul mates or men who will take them as they are and live with happily ever after.
Call it naiveté. I call it a knee-jerk response to hubbies who were:
- Abusive:
This can either be physical or psychological. Either way, it cuts into the very core of a woman to be treated shabbily by her husband. It makes her to get even.
- Workaholics:
A guy I used to work with practically spent his waking hours in the office. Seeing his marriage at the brink of collapse, he called it quits.
To make amends, he became a church lay minister. Good for God, better for his family.
- Philanderers:
Of the women I met in my social site, this is the primary reason that drives women to dance the tango as well.
- Just plain bores:
Other than the paycheck, wives have other needs, as well. And this is the kind of need a wife is least likely to share or admit. Any man who can pry this need from her will soon have her in bed.
Lovers make better lovers because they explore, they experiment, give something new and exciting. Above all, they spice it up by doing these things in secret. We all love secrets.
The best time of my sexual life was with my 17-year relationship with a married woman. Both of us fell into any one of the reasons above.
It was also my worse – when my wife found it out. It almost broke my marriage, drove my two children away and tormented me like a thousand demons on my back. My sadness over my wife’s death more than four years ago shall remain a burden because of having loved her less when she was alive.
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Be Happy Even When Gray
November 15th, 2011
“No longer forward nor behind I look in hope and fear;
But grateful take the good I find,
The best of now and here.” – John G. Whittier.
I don’t know if Mr. Whittier directed those wonderful lines to elderly people like me. At 63 yrs of age, I certainly feel alluded to. Don’t you think so?
If there’s a time in a man’s life that he takes “happiness” as a state of being rather than of having, it is when he is old and gray.
At this age our lights can go off anytime, our breaths, our last. So while we feel the warmth of sunshine against our face and hear the birds sing, why not make a sunshine within ourselves so others can hear our souls sing like a lark attracting a mate?
I know it’s a tall order for most. It’s like asking one to dance the bogey on a pair of arthritic legs. I feel it sometimes, as a matter of fact. But to give in is to surrender and surrender I won’t, till I drop.
So here are a few things I urge guys of my age do to be happy even when gray:
Never even think that you are old:
To do so would be to put yourself in a box – a box of old toys, used clothing and other relics of the past which are too precious for the thrash can but worthless for a garage sale.
Think of yourself as a person who’s seen and done much and whose data base is full of wisdom so timeless and precious to enrich the lives of those around you – assuming, of course, that you lived a full life.
Learn to live with diversity:
I am blessed with two kids, a girl and a boy. They grew up with the same love and caring and the discipline of boot camp. Yet they grew up to be entirely different in a lot of things in life.
Being a widower I have to be both father and mother to two adult people who love me so much, I think, that they still refuse to marry.
I have learned to accept not to create a fuss when my daughter will just announce that she is going to Singapore to visit a friend or my son to sleep over at his fiancée’s house.
Uuugggghhhh! The things young people do these days.
Be alone, but not lonely:
Of the inescapable facts of being an elderly, I find this the most difficult to cope with.
Both my children are out of the house most of the time, leaving me alone. The look in my wife’s face a few seconds before she died has remained a default in my brain; of how I dragged her to the car hoping that she will be revived when we get there.
These and many other crazy things I did can easily creep into my mind, making me feel melancholic and suicidally lonely
I keep them at bay by switching my mental channels and think, instead, of healthy, productive, happy and life-giving thoughts.
Take up a hobby or pastime:
As a freelance writer, a blogger and online business entrepreneur, I am well-covered.
On the side, I donate something to an orphanage to give hope to young kids.
We are all gifted with something. Find out what is yours and exploit it to the fullest. Never, ever, be glued in front of a TV set munching on something that gives you nothing but a stronger desire to do nothing.
Keep fit:
There’s nothing like a healthy body to make a healthy mind. Compromise one and you compromise the other.
At my age, I still play tennis, visit the gym and do tai chi.
Oh yes, my knees and hips are complaining. But it’s nothing that Tylenol couldn’t take care of.
Be sexually active:
There’s no doubt that sex is one of the determinants of being happy and fit. Let not the tolls of age worry you. Science can take car of that.
But nothing can take care of a mind that has given up on the spice that gives life a wonderful flavor.
Our needs diminish as our age increase. It means we are no longer burdened with having to make a choice among a lot of alternatives.
Which means that if given the choice between making an endless string of visits to my doctor or sit in a coffee shop and watch an endless flow of beautiful girls pass by, I would take the second choice anytime? Wouldn’t you?
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Nutrients We Need to Get Through the Day
November 10th, 2011
“How was your day?”
Is a question asked of us so often it has become so mundane and banal. Our answers, of course, vary as our activities in any given day.
Our answers, too, will purely be a matter of externals. Never will it occur to us, even for a second, that our “day” will just be as good as our body allows it to. An impaired body function will definitely make our day very different than what we want it to be.
Very much like your car.
Our body is a machine, very much like a car. Whereas we lavish much attention on our car, we wait until we hear a strange hum in our chest, creaks in our joints, difficulty in our exhaust system before making a mad rush to a body mechanic for a check up.
To make our day zip like a car, we need to give our body a daily dose of pampering as well. We need to have it amply supplied with nutrients such as:
Vitamin D:
This strengthens the skeleton, among other things.
It reduces inflammation of the arteries; people deficient with it are 80% more likely to have a heart attack or a stroke.
It also triggers weight loss from the belly; people with high levels of Vitamin D in the blood store less fat.
Vitamin D is synthesized by the skin from the UV rays of sunlight. Being in the tropics, I am amply supplied with it. But those in cooler countries need reinforcement by taking lots of salmon, mackerel, tuna, milk and eggs. For good measure a daily dose (1,400 IU) of Vitamin D from food supplements is recommended.
Magnesium:
This lightweight mineral makes bright white flares. It is also involved in more than 300 bodily processes, like help the body cells generate energy. Without it, our muscles will be in permanent state of contraction and our body cannot adjust the cholesterol levels released into the blood stream. .
High magnesium levels prevent the increase of C-reactive protein in our blood. This protein type is a heart disease indicator.
Magnesium is not manufactured by the body and has to be taken from the food we eat. The problem is that our normal daily intake is almost always lower than the 400 mg/day we need.
To make up for the shortage, it is recommended to eat lots of halibut, navy beans and spinach. If this is not enough, 250 mg/day of magnesium citrate from food supplements should be sufficient.
Vitamin B12:
This keeps our brains healthy – a must for the elderly. A British study showed that older people deficient in B12 lost more brain volume than those with enough.
Vitamin B12 is abundant in lamb and salmon but is easier to digest if taken from fortified cereals. A bowl of 100% B12-boosted cereal and milk, taken daily, should be enough.
Potassium:
I once had a subordinate who collapsed while at work. He died shortly after reaching the hospital. The cause? Potassium depletion.
Potassium depletion can kill. But before death comes, the heart won’t beat properly, the muscles won’t contract and the brain could not understand a sentence. This is because it is important in making effective use of glucose.
Despite its ugly specter, our Potassium intake, on the average, is 60 to 70% below the required 4,700 mg/day. To make matters worse, we love to take more blood pressure-increasing sodium which negates potassium’s function.
Next time you go to the grocery, don’t ignore the avocados and bananas. They contain roughly 500 mg and 400 mg, respectively. And if you are not averse to carbohydrates, take lots of potatoes. They contain 1,600 mg.
Iodine:
This is needed by the thyroid gland to produce the T3 and T4 hormones which help control how the body burns calories. Not enough iodine will cause the body to gain weight and feel fatigued
Iodine can be found in a lot of sea foods, milk, eggs and yogurt.
“How was your day?”
Before giving an answer, smile and be thankful that you are loaded with the necessary nutrients to take you through it.
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Dreams Can Mean Something or Nothing
November 3rd, 2011
We all dream dreams. There is hardly any person, alive, without a dream story, one time or recurring, to tell. As varied they may be, they all boil down to one question, “What does it mean?”
Interpreting dreams, however, can be more entertaining than certain. To start with, defining the word “dream” and understanding the reasons why we dream are areas best left to people who have devoted much time studying the subject.
Some of these people are found in The Academy of Dreams. Their information about dreams and dreaming can give you several sleepless (and dreamless) nights. For starters, they categorize dreams or dreaming into scientific, lucid, Toltec, Jungian, etc.
If that is too much for you, settle for this less cerebrally-demanding definition of the word:
“A dream is a succession of images, ideas, emotions and sensations that occur involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep.” – Wikipedia.
However, why we dream and what they mean has been a constant topic of scientific speculation, philosophical intrigue and religious skullduggery.
Dreams you should be interested in:
One of my recurring dreams is to be able to fly like a bird. I thought it means that I am destined to be a pilot until my Mom shot me down when I tried to enroll into the air force’s flying academy. She didn’t want me in those flying coffins.
I still have it, occasionally, but never give it much thought until I came across a Divine Caroline article about the connection of dreams and dream symbols with stress.
You may brush aside your dreams but never stress. It is still one of the leading causes of death worldwide and must avoid stressors without getting stressed out.
Here they are:
Being nude:
This is one of my recurring dreams. Though perplexing, I never let it bother me. Maybe I should, now. Nudity dreams could mean:
- A possible relationship scandal or unwise engagement;
- Constant feelings of vulnerability, shame, inferiority at work or being in an unguarded or exposed position.
Storm dreams:
- An internal storm in your life; an overwhelming struggle, shock, devastating loss and personal catastrophe;
- Continued sickness, business downturns and separation from friends and things that could cause great distress.
Dreams of crashes:
- Represent deep anxieties and fears;
- Of feelings that your life is headed for a disaster;
- An airplane crash may be caused by unmet highly unrealistic goals while car crashes, of painful experience.
Dreams of hell:
- Could mean you are suffering from an inescapable situation;
- Inner fears and repressed guilty feelings;
- Dreaming of fires is not necessarily about hell but of destruction, passion, desire, illumination, transformation, enlightenment or anger.
Dreams of death:
Dying at age 45 is one of my three recurring dreams. You can just imagine the suspense I had as I approached the age.
I am now 63 years old and feel I can live another 63.
Death dreams, according to experts, are largely symbolic of things to come.
They could mean the beginning of suspense in your life, of trials or forthcoming finalities like the end of marriage or a career.
For most men, erectile dysfunction starts at around age 45.
We have countless dreams and their interpretations will remain hidden and mysterious to most of us. For entertainment or should your interest get the better of you, visit Dream Moods.
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Friends are a Therapy for the Soul
October 14th, 2011
A group of four very elderly women regularly meet in the coffee shop I frequent. They meet once a week and, for at least an hour, banter with each other the way they probably did a long, long time ago.
I love watching them. They paint a picture of happiness of being together, of being connected with a bond of respect and affection for each other – which is the essence of true friendships.
“Friendship improves happiness and abates misery by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief.” – Marcus Cicero (43 BC)
When was the last time you had a wonderful time with your real friends? If it was long enough that you couldn’t remember the highlights of the meeting, better get in touch soonest. You may never have the chance again.
Pun aside, recent studies have shown friends and social contacts have beneficial effects on your health.
Aside from partying and getting abreast of the latest fads, gossips and news, studies have shown that:
- Elderly people with a large circle of friends live longer than those without;
- People with strong social ties have better brain health as they age;
- Among women with breast cancer, those without close friends are four times more likely to die from the disease than those having 10 or more;
- A study on elderly Swedish men showed that those with many friends have less heart attack and coronary heart disease problems;
- Friendships have bigger impact on our psychological well-being than family relationships;
- Friends increase your sense of belonging and purpose, improves your self-worth;
- They boost your happiness, reduce stress;
- They help you cope with trauma, i.e., divorce, serious illnesses, job loss or death of a loved one, etc;
- They can greatly influence you to kick a bad habit such as excessive drinking or lack of exercise.
Researchers aren’t exactly sure why friendship has such a big effect on a person’s overall health and happiness. But they agree that people should try real good friendships rather than visit their doctors, buy self-help books and load themselves on herbal supplements to stay happy and healthy.
Oh! Here’s a downside to these studies. As much as possible, minimize your friendship with obese people. Researchers have observed that those who do have a 60% chance becoming one.
One of my online friends once asked me the number of friends I have. She was surprised when I told her that I have three. “Only three?” she asked. I told her that they are the people, outside of family, I really care about and who, I know, care about me. The rest are just acquaintances.
